I Need A New Butt

I have never heard of I Need a New Butt, but it sounds hilarious and perfectly appropriate for second graders.

A young boy suddenly notices a big problem — his butt has a huge crack! So he sets off to find a new one. Will he choose an armor-plated butt? A rocket butt? A robot butt? Find out in this quirky tale of a tail, which features hilarious rhymes and delightful illustrations. Children and parents will love this book — no ifs, ands, or butts about it!

Sounds fun. Of course, the superintendent in Mississippi’s Hinds County School District took offense.

Maria Cramer and Isabella Grullón Paz, writing for the New York Times, explains how an assistant principal lost his job because he read it to children. Toby Price read the book to a group of second graders over Zoom … and lost his job.

Later that day, on March 2, the district superintendent, Delesicia Martin, called him into her office and told him he was on administrative leave, Mr. Price said. He was fired two days later, accused of violating the standards of conduct section of the Mississippi Educator Code of Ethics.

In a letter to Mr. Price, the superintendent called the book inappropriate.” She particularly took issue with the references to farting in the story and how the book described butts in various colors, shapes and sizes (example: fireproof, bullet proof, bomb proof).” Ms. Martin called Mr. Price unprofessional” for having selected the book.

Delesicia Martin, the superintendent, should be fired. Immediately. There’s even a change.org petition.

No child or parent complained. The superintendent was worried someone might complain. Unbelievable.

This is one of the hundreds of reasons why the Mississippi education system rates 47 out of 50. I hope Mr. Price gets plenty job offers to educate young minds where he is appreciated.

March 16, 2022